He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize