New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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