How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
