he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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