Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
