Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
