he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
