I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So squirting runs in the family.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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