I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
