While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
