i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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