I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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