Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
