Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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