I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Your cock deserves a montage
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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