i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
