i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The best revenge is premature balding
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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