There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
