He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you will always have a special place in my vag
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
