I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
