as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
