he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
