I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
