i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
