Kareoke will never be a sober sport
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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