dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
