Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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