You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
