I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
