Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
