we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
