Just fell off a train. Bad.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
