Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
