so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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