Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
