i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
