Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Say something about gay babies.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
