It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I have already put on my inside pants.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
