i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
