i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
