Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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