brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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