Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
