What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
