I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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