FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
