Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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