physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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