Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
