Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
