is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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