3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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