I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
