Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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