you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
We smell like vodka and hangover
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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