My hand turned me down
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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