dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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