There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
