Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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