so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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