He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize