I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
