woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
