Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
