I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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